


500 Year Old Argument.

by RedpathArcade



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Arguing, Booker is done, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Husbands Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealous Joe, M/M, Michelangelo - Freeform, Misunderstandings, Protective Nicky, Temporary Character Death, both still grossly romantic when fighting, no cheating tho, protective Joe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26487112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedpathArcade/pseuds/RedpathArcade
Summary: A year.That's how long they've been running. 366 days, a leap year if you may. They've fought and flown. Battle after battle. Death after death. Enough blood spilled to fuel a blood bank for decades. But it was over; done and finished. Guns empty and swords rusting. Bones aching despite having healed long ago. They should be glad, happy even- it was over, every one was alive.So, why in madre di Dio's good name is it that Joe and Nicky can't seem to go five minutes with out snapping at each other..
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 24
Kudos: 315





	500 Year Old Argument.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m gonna put this here instead of at the end.  
> Madre di Dino’s - mother of god  
> Voglio passare il resto della mia vita con te - I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  
> Habibi- my love  
> Tersoro mio- sweetheart  
> Ya amar- the moon (comparing someone to the moon is one of the most romantic ways of expressing love in Arabic)  
> Wahashtini -I miss you  
> Madha qult -what did you say?
> 
> Enjoy!!!

A year.

That's how long they've been running. 366 days, a leap year if you may. They've fought and flown. Battle after battle. Death after death. Enough blood spilled to fuel a blood bank for decades. But it was over; done and finished. Guns empty and swords rusting. Bones aching despite having healed long ago. They should be glad, happy even- it was over, every one was alive.

So, why in madre di Dio's good name is it that Joe and Nicky can't seem to go five minutes with out snapping at each other..

"It's like this sometimes. After watching each other die again and again, they start to fall apart. Themselves and their relationship. They've cried as much tears as the others blood has been spilled. Give them time, soon enough we'll be begging for them to keep their hands to themselves." Andy had informed Nile when she asked.

Hours turned into days, days rolled into a full week. Nicky and Joe still argued, from Nicky wearing a belt to bed, to Joe's hair clogging the drain. It was almost funny. They way they fought. Hours during the day spent bickering, night spent holding each other close. The way Nicky would cook Joe a separate breakfast when his husband has had a rough night. The smell of Joe's favourite morning food bringing a blinding smile to his face. The way Joe dragged Nicky into his chest as the gang watched TV, thumb brushing circles into the smooth skin under Nicky's shirt.

It was almost like they weren't fighting at all. Except, at night no hush words were spoken between them. No kisses that promised to lead to more. Movie nights were eerily silent without Nicky's running commentary whispered into Joe's collar.

Nile couldn't take it anymore and from the way the others went out of their way to avoid being alone with the couple - neither could they.

Surprisingly it was Booker who broke.

"I can't take this anymore," He announced one night at the dinner table, "I get that missions can be hard, especially ones that take a long time. I get that. But you've two have never spent this long fighting, bickering, avoiding whatever needs to be said. So say it, here and now- so the rest of us can go back to fake gagging every time one of you shows an ounce of love for each other."

The table went silent. Nile staring up at Booker like he just announced a war on the world. Andy and Quynh glancing back and forth between each other and Nicky and Joe.

Joe huffed and Nicky glared at him.

"Really? That's all you're going to do. Fine I'll start." Booker growled in annoyance, racking though his brain to figure out what would cause Joe to be upset. "Nicky, never turn you're mic off, I won't be responsible for controlling Joe..."

Nicky straightened up, ready to defend his actions when Joe cut in, "Sorry, Booker. I've already had that speech with Nicolo."

Booker rolled his eyes, _of course_. 

Andy held her hand up, trying her luck, "Joe, next time you decide to take a grenade that was meant for Nicky, think twice."

Nicky shook his head, his skin going pale at the memory, "I've already spoke to Yusuf about that..."

Quynh shrugged, giving a shot at it, "Nicky, how did you manage to lose both arms again?"

Joe swore, body going stiff, "No, _no_. We're not talking about that. No."

The only sound that filled the room for the next few minutes, was the sound of Nicky's chair moving closer to his husband. As if to offer comfort in the presence of body warmth, even with the gap he left in-between them. It seemed to work though. The tension left Joe's body, his eyes looking less haunted.

Booker shot Nile a look. She shook her head, mouthing back to him. _I'm not getting involved_

Booker responded with a look that could only be described as _puppy-dog-eyes._

Nile sighed and leaned forward in her seat, "Alright listen, we're gonna be here all week at this rate. You both died an alarming amount this year, Nicky especially- no, I don't want to here it. You're driving us mad and frankly a little worried. So, do everyone here a favour and speak."

"It's Joe's fault." Nicky glared.

"No way! You're the one who started this." Joe glared _harder_. 

"It's not my fault you can't handle a joke." 

"Jokes are supposed to be funny." Joe shot back.

"The look on your face was funny. Some may even say priceless." Nicky argued.

" _Guys_!" Nile interrupted, "This isn't solving anything."

Joe huffed, "It would all be solved if Nicoló threw out the blasted shirt."

Nicky rolled his eyes. 

"Okay, what exactly are you two fighting about? And what does a shirt have to do with this?" Nile asked confused.

"The shirt has everything to do with this. That and the fact my husband cheated on me."

And that was not what she was expecting. Not any of them judging my the shocked gasps and the sound of silverware falling into the table.

"Oh mio Dio! Yusuf, stop. You're blowing this all out of portion." Nicky rolls his eyes at his his husband's dramatic-ness. He gently cupped Joe's jaw, tilting his head up. When he manages to catch Joe's gaze, Nicky gives him a gentle smile, "I never once cheated on you. Voglio passare il resto della mia vita con te."

Despite his words, Joe looks away once again. A puff of air leaving his lips. Nicky sighs at the foolishness of this whole argument, it was fun in the beginning, but the other were right, it's time to end it all. "Habibi, I would die a trillion deaths before my eyes even begin to wander away from yo-"

"Is that why you let him see you naked?" Joe cut him off.

Nicky only scuffs in response.

Booker clenched his fist, torn between who to comfort and who to defend. He wasn't really sure what was going on, but something had greatly upset Joe. Although Nicky way acting like it was nothing, an aged old fight, Booker still didn't like the fact that Joe seemed truly upset.

"Yusuf, may I suggest we have this conversation in our bedroom." Nicky reasoned.

Joe shakes his head, "No. Whatever you have to say you can say here."

"Fine! It was a crush! A _one-sided_ crush on his part." Nicky's voice is on the edge of cracking, eyes now desperate and pleading, "He meant nothing to me, you know that. I only let him see me naked once, and you were there! You said it was okay! You've been saying it was okay for centuries. We've always made jokes about his unwanted crush for me, why must you act like this now?"

Joe was silent for a moment, searching his husband's face for any trace of lies, and after almost a millennium together he can read Nicoló like an open book, "The shirt was taking it too far, Nico. You had to know that."

Nicky bit his lip, glancing down at his lap in shame, "Maybe I should've. But I didn't get what was so wrong with me wearing the shirt!"

"You really didn't, did you?" Joe frowned, any anger left in him gone. He really had thought Nicky knew what he was doing, he thought his husband was being cruel on purpose. Joe sighed, his Nicky would never do something so inhuman. 

"Habibi, I told you as much when we first started fighting. I thought it would get a laugh out of you. You were so tired and broken by the mission, we had died so many times. I just wanted to see you smile once again. I'm so stupid, I apologize Tesoro mio."

"And here I thought Joe was the romantic one." Booker smirked, kicking his legs onto the table, looking all to pleased with the turn of events. 

"Madre di Dio." Joe muttered, "Ya amar, you're not stupid. Wahashtini, these last few weeks have been next to impossible."

"I'm sorry," Nile blinked, "This has all been about a _shirt_?"

"I should've known it be the shirt." Andy said amused, and Booker hummed in agreement, "Michelangelo one, right?"

Nicky nodded and Joe looked murderous once again at the sheer mention of his name.

"Don't tell me you're fighting because of that tacky ass shirt? Was the thread count not good enough?" Nile joked, then gasped, finally cluing in, "Wait- you met _Michelangelo_? Michelangelo had a crush on Nicky? _Ew_ , he saw you naked, why? Wait, no I don't want to know."

"I can't believe this." Booker laughed, "Of course Joe would be grumpy for weeks all because Nicky wore a shirt with Michelangelo written in big bold letters, which a piece of his art underneath. The one that looks identical to Nicky's body."

Joe growled, "It was like Michelangelo was mocking me from his grave. His name on my husband's chest like some kind of _ownership_."

"I had no idea." Nicky whispered moving his chair that last inch, their bodies now pressed together, "That was not my intention. I never meant for you to see it as that."

"So the shirt probably wasn't best idea then." Quyhn winced. She was the one who pointed it out to Nicky. Andy had told her a couple months back about the whole Michelangelo fiasco, "Him having kissed you and all."

" _Madha qult_?" Joe objected.

Quyhn winced, apparently Nicky had kept that part to himself.

Nicky frowned, "I never kissed him. He tried, but Yusuf stopped him."

Joe nodded, pulling Nicky into his chest, "I would never let that _pig_ touch my Nicoló."

"Quyhn you're thinking about Caravaggio. He's the one that kissed Nicky."

Joe growled, hand gripping Nicky's thigh, tightly. "I wasn't fast enough to stop him."

"He barely touched my lips. It was more like a chin kiss than anything." Nicky let his hand drop down to where Joe's rested on his thigh to give a reassuring squeeze.

"Still, his lips touched your beautiful face. If he wanted to insult me, I would've rather he stabbed me in the back." Joe hissed.

"I still can't believe all of this is because of a _shirt_." Nile exclaimed with a shake of her head.

"These boys will be the death of us. I do believe." Booker snickered.

"At least you'll all suffer together," Joe noted, "What was it you once said... Misery loves company?"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please don’t be shy, comments are welcome and I respond to them! Even if it’s just random letters or a heart.


End file.
